What People Mean When They Say “Let’s stay friends” to Someone They Just Broke Up With
71% Let’s continue having sex when it’s convenient for me.
29% Wow this silence is really awkward so I’ll just say the first dumb thing that comes into my head.
What People Mean When They Say “Sure! I would like that!” in Response:
29% Right now this seems feasible, assuming they just mean we should continue having sex when it’s convenient for me.
71% I hope you die by llama trampling.
You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be very fond of them to love them. Otherwise they’re simply unbearable.
Definition: An action taken by a man to remind himself that he’s not tethered to anything or anyone - most notably you.
Common Usage: “Every now and then, Jake goes MIA. Clearly, he’s flexing his freedom muscle for me.”
- Ex-Non-Boyfriend: Hope you're doing better today.
- Me: Meh.
- Me: It's the way of the world. I either date guys with commitment issues who fuck me up emotionally or get dumped over stupid shit.
- Ex-Non-Boyfriend: :-(
- Me: So... thanks for that.
- Ex-Non-Boyfriend: I'll leave you alone.